“I Stwong”

From: Denise

I have a two-year-old granddaughter whose parents are working hard to raise her in a gender- neutral manner. I chose this photo because I believe it represents the dichotomy between a female toddler wearing popular and “girlie” clothing and still understanding she can work in the dirt and use her muscles. Samantha Jean is currently wearing Minnie Mouse because it is all the rage at her daycare among same-age females. She also sports tennis shoes with bling, having a grandmother fond of blinging up her hearing assistive devices and female friends who love all the sparkle. She carefully chooses her own hairbow each day and is careful to make sure that it matches (at least in her opinion). Samantha Jean did not care about the messy dirt nor hefting a shovel with sharp edges to fill in a hole. Gender schemas promote the thinking and behavior that rough, tough, and active are words associated with masculine traits while kind, soft/fragile, and passivity are words associated with feminine traits (Rudman et al., 2015). At this point in this 2-yr-old female’s life, she has not been criticized nor teased about doing an activity that is normally a task a male would do. She did not seem to mind that the wind was blowing her hair in her face, nor did she care if the wind blew some dirt back onto her as she scooped and dumped shovelfuls of soil into the hole.

After being coached that the shovel was “sharp” and could be dangerous, the female toddler continued the activity with perhaps a greater amount of care, but no compulsion to end the activity. Rudman et al., (2015) explain that boy’s toys and activities tend to be masculine objects that are hard, sharp, and perhaps more weapon-like while girl’s toys and activities are soft, smooth, and safe. Samantha Jean is being careful but throwing herself into the task all the while  pointing out how strong she is. As a matter of fact, her dialogue never stopped. Females tend to connect relationally more than boys do (Etaugh & Bridges, 2018). This can be displayed by conversation, being in “teaching mode” with her grandfather who has been taken out of focus in the background.

I deliberately chose not to blur the tree in the background that appears right above the female’s head. The photo was taken in early Spring and the tree was just beginning to show evidence of budding. Samantha Jean, a 2-yr-old female, is also in a growth season as changes continue to take place allowing her to safely use a shovel. Her open mouth (evidence of non-stop chatter) also symbolizes the language explosion she is currently experiencing. 

Interestingly enough, the conversation taking place around the time of the photo being taken, was the little 2-yr-old female toddler being shown the hole to fill and her responses to the task:

“Pa… you made MESS. I fix. I do it”

            To me this indicated she assumed her Pa (not the dogs), a man made the mess and it was 

            now HER job to fix it. Was there some underlying message that it was the female’s job to

            clean up the mess the male made?

Throughout the task Samantha Jean kept saying, “I stwong… I stwong…”

            This goes against the norm that a female can be physically strong. The toddler also

            talked non-stop through the task, connected with those watching by carrying on a play-      by-play verbal description of what she was doing.

Etaugh, C. A., & Bridges, J. S. (2018). Women’s lives: A psychological exploration. New York:

     Taylor & Francis.

Rudman, Laurie A., et al. "The Two Cultures of Childhood." The Social Psychology of Gender:  

     How Power and Intimacy Shape Gender Relations. The Guilford Press, 2015, 59-63.