In class we've been talking about work inside the home and outside the home. Our textbook discussed the story of Lorna Wendt, the wife of a CEO who was worth approximately 100 million dollars at the time of their divorce. Lorna Wendt argued that she deserved half of the 100 million for the work she did as a wife and mother. Do you think she deserved half of her husband's money? Why or why not?
After the case was settled (she got 20 million, not the 50 million she was asking for), Ms. Wendt started a site called The Equality in Marriage Institute. Although the institute has closed, their website still contains advice for married women. Take a look at the site. What advice do you find useful? When/if you get married, will the issues we've discussed in this unit influence your decisions regarding work inside and outside the home? If you are already married, does any of the information on the site relate to you?
10 comments:
I think most of the advice is useful, because this issue isn't something that's discussed a lot. Finances are an important thing to discuss before and during marriage. Everyone needs to read this, over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and frankly, women are the ones who end up facing poverty, homelessness, or even lack the ability to leave a marriage because they don't have the resources.
I don't think the issues we've discussed in this unit will influence my decisions regarding work inside and outside the home. I don't "plan" on getting married, it's a possibility, but not a goal or plan. I was raised with two financially independent parents, who split housework and childcare equally. As my sister and I grew older, we were expected to help out too. A enjoyable, fun, and long-lasting career is also important to me. I have to be doing something meaningful to feel satisfied with myself. I plan on moving back to Sweden, and if I do decide to have children, I will be provided with maternity leave, free daycare, before and after school care, free education for my children (including college and most private schools,) health care, and dental care. I'm also allowed to actually get married there.
Talking about the case of Lorna, I think she deserves half of her husband's money, if he has earned that money after their marriage.
I think the advice in the website are useful. Whenever people gets married, they have to share everything.Both of the couple participate equally for making money. If husband is working outside and wife is working inside, they are both contributing for the family money.
Actually, the issues we have discussed inside the class will influence me when I get married. I will give equal rights to my wife and let her work where ever she wants. Truly speaking, I will never compare my marital life with money. However, unfortunately if I have to divorce, I will divide everything.
marriage. a unity between two people? what's mine is yours? thats the way i see things.
finances are one thing- i mean joint checking? where everything you do is together-- except when it comes down to getting divorced of course. i believe if you have intentions on getting married then you have intentions of sharing everything. and what's mine is yours should always play a part. spilt things right down the middle i think.
Yes, I do believe that she should have gotten half of the 100 million. She did just as much work as him but she did it within the home. If Lorna would have earned that money outside the house this settlement would not be that much of and issue I don't think. The website brought up some good points about before you even think about getting married. I am a very Independent person so the thought of marriage right now just makes me sick. It's not fair for the women to be expected to do EVERYTHING! The court system and even society I don't think are ready for women to start fighting back, but now is the time before we end up in a bad marriage and are forced to get divorced.
In the case of Lorna Wendt and any other woman in a marriage for that matter, deserves half of what the couple has produced. Although the man may be the one in the workforce and the woman stays at home caring for the household, both have equal rights to the money. The wife's presence in the home ensures that the money earned by the husband is not spent on babysitters or cooks and rather goes to other necessities that cannot be provided by the wife. One website we discussed in class (salary.com) gives a "mom salary counter" that takes the work of the mother and relates it into an amount of money that was saved by her work in the home. Though it may have been created as a publicity stunt, its computations are effective in calculating mother’s and housewives work. The fact that Lorna Wendt’s husband’s party stated that she was only subject 10% of assets is absurd because they are saying that she was only 10% involved in their union.
Reading the advice given by Wendt and her story, I realize that I must establish equality in my relationship. I do believe that in a marriage that both partners are equal, but in terms of housework, child care and employment, I need to institute equivalent participation. This story has also made me aware that society and the judicial system are biased in a way and may not always view things fairly or in my interest, so I have to protect myself.
It has always been about money and it will be always about it. When people start to measure their dedications, hardships and their endurance with money they cannot redeem their respect even they get the lumpsums. In Lorna's case it is the same thing. I understand that she did as hard work as her husband but why MONEY? so that is all she get, the money. All the pay backs? Well then it would be simple for the wives now a days to earn good money, get a rich husband, do hard work and get divirce and get couple of million of dollars. She would leve a decent life with that huge amount of money.
I dont know if I am been a hippocrate but I think there is something called morality which cannot be weighed in terms of money.
For Lorna's web page, it is kinda interesting and I think it covers all the aspects and the fundaments that homestay wives might find very useful, but still it is not a new issue that has been discussed. The only thing is that this issue just came out.
I'm an awful decision maker, so I truly can not take sides in this story because they both have great points. From the wife/mother point of view- she most likely gave up her career or education to stay at home with her children and take care of them and the house. So when I think of her getting divorced and not only getting no money, but also no paid work experience or social security, of course I'd say she deserves the money for all she has done. After all, a mothers job REALLY is never ever done. On the other hand, the man did the actual work and earned his own money. You would think he would want to give his wife some money for what she's done and so she can support the child even more, on her own. It's a tough situation but did not at all make me think twice about my future plans. I don't feel the need to be a career woman and prove anything to the world. I'd love to stay at home and make sure I'm the only influence on my children...not to mention, I love cleaning!
Of course no women about to step up to the alter wants to face the fact that there is a high number of statstics that show that he might leave you high and dry in a few years, but with the almarming rate of women living in poverty and trying to support children on their own in getting out of hand. In a marriage things should be 50/50 or else whats the point of even getting married therefore I believe if things are unfortunate enough to have to get a divorce everything should be split fairly, even if the women is a stay at home mother and he makes a million dollars a year. Its distibing that people do not think a women's work in the home or being a wife is worth as much as getting to leave the house all day, getting to leave the children all day and getting out to enjoy that personal fulfillment of a career.
In my opinion Lorna deserves half of the money that her husband accumulated while they were married. 32 years seems like an overwhelming investment to walk away with nothing. As stated in the article, it def. was not about money. Think about how Lorna comes out of the divorce...No work experience (because she was taking care of the kids), no money by the ways of her lack of income, and therefore her standard of living will drop quite dramatically considering. It would be extremely difficult for her to get a job or even to provide shelter for herself. I think that Lorna has done an amazing thing by arguing the case. It all depends how you look at the defintion of "work." Yes her husband was out living the life of corporate america...yet she was at home completing some of the most essential tasks in life. Lorna was definatly working and therefore deserves some type of income for her performed duties. The article really stuck with me in the sense that it allowed woman to see that they aren't stuck and that there is some way to work against the "system" that many think it in place. That they can be left with nothing as many woman end up with. She has opened minds which hopefully will continue and allow for others to fight back just as Lorna did.
I definitely feel that if you are in a loving, trusting relationship with someone then money should not be a problem later in your lives together. However, if a divorce is in order then I do feel that the couple’s assets should be split evenly down the middle. My reasoning for this is even though Lorna didn’t earn any of that money by "working" for a company she did take care of her husband’s entire life. The money that he makes at work is just as much hers as it is his. It’s a family income that they were living on, not his money and he let her have some. If he doesn’t want to share his life with her anymore its not fair for him to take everything and leave her nothing after everything she did for him for however long they were married. I can’t believe out of 100 million she got 20. It blows my mind. However, I do see how some of that money could have been his that he earned previous to their marriage. Still, there’s no excuse for him being so selfish. I know that women are usually the ones who end up with the short stick through these battles so I will definitely be cautious when the day comes for me to get married and “Share” money with someone else.
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