from: Suzette
Since birth women are taught to be nurturing, passive, and constantly accommodating; whereas men are taught to be aggressive, tough, and constantly striving for something better. Are the same facts true when it comes to dating? In the photo you see the girls in the forefront, and numerous guys in the background. Rather than being forward and approaching any guy, they choose to stand back, and wait for one of them to choose her. Women desire to be the passive party, even when it comes to the prospect of dating, the man has the broader selection of what girl to choose; and that female has to be accommodating to that choice. When asked, the women would rather be the pursuee, than the pursuer. Is the solely the fear of rejection that inhibits the women from being the aggressive party, or has it been to deeply ingrained in our minds that we should always be chased after?
3 comments:
Caitlin
We should be look at the way people date to. Some girls will not ask a guy out even though they like him the think it is the guy job to ask them out. If a girl asks a guy out they might be considered aggressive and other guys might not like her. Let look at the way girls are socialized they are taught that they would have to be liked by guys while guys are taught they just had to like a girl. That might be a reason why girls never ask guys out because they are worried that the guy might not like her and it might hurt her more because she is taught that boys should like her
This is an incredibly true observation of how dating works and a frustrating one from my perspective. It is interesting to think of romance as being dictated by arbitrary laws set in place by society, but I have never been asked on a date even by girls who admitted they liked me after I made the first move. From my perspective this is a pointless rule of dating and one which sends mixed messages most of the time. Isn't it funny that girls will actually wait for a guy they care about to ask them out even though they have just as much interest in a relationship as the guy. Perhaps this law of dating is especially strange to me because of my carpe diem (seize the day) philosophy for life. It has been my experience however, the more fixated a girl is with this waiting rule, the more likely it is they are fixated on other illogical rules of gender behavior. Perhaps it is for this reason I now only date girls who are extremely outgoing and unusual. Otherwise I tend to find my relationship is more like a performance.
I think that women dont like doing it is because women are taught that a guy should be the one to make the first move. A guy should be the one to make the choices. IN my opinion, i think a lot of girls insecurities are what stps them from making the first move, or what other people would say. Any girl that is know to go get guys when she wants is labeled as a whore. I call that knowing what you want. As a guy I would rather a girl come up to me once in a while. To let you girls in on a little secret, every guy is insecure too and afraid of rejection.
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